Quote – “Friendship last as long as we dedicate some time for its existence.” – Hermann J. Steinherr
True story. In my lifetime, I’ve had two best friends. One friendship lasted about 15 years, and the other almost 20 years. Both friendships had fascinating beginning’s, wonderful and zany experiences, some that were a little scary, and some memories that were just plain hysterical. During those years, we shared everything, all our thoughts, all our emotions, our grief, no matter how intimate. We picked each other up, when the other one was down. They were, I thought, the most perfect relationships.
But then, life tosses a few curve balls into the game. The friendships you once thought were blessings turned out to have a expiration date that have expired. Somewhere along the way, things got screwed up, feelings got hurt, and the days where you felt secure in your friendship are over. You’re crushed from the inside out. You are feeling more lonely than you ever thought possible, but there’s no other way to explain it. Something inside you died when the friendship ended. It leaves you with a wanting, a need to have that one person that you can trust with anything and everything. You feel empty.
Then, by chance, you meet someone new. Maybe not in the most normal way of meeting someone these days, but that doesn’t matter. How two people come in contact with each other is not important, as long as it’s not while waiting to be sentenced for murder, I think it’s okay. The universe has given you a new chapter in your life’s story. But, you’re hesitant. You don’t want to be hurt or disappointed like that ever again. So you are fearful to let your guard down at first, but then, it happens. You allow yourself to feel good again about sharing things with someone, even if it’s a stranger, and not someone that you’ve known for a long period of time. But, you start to have hope again.
I’ve been developing this “newer” friendship with someone I met in the most uncommon way lately. Short story, we met because we each knew someone else on social media, those two people ended up arguing, they stopped talking to each other, but we continued to be connected via social media. Then, for whatever the reason, we stopped talking to each other because the original two people were getting into our heads, etc. It wasn’t a easy start, that’s for sure! But when the universe speaks, it’s LOUD!
So here I am now, it’s 2018, and someone that I met in 2016, is now someone that I feel I can talk to about anything. The friendship feels like we’ve met before, maybe in another lifetime? She feels like an old soul, kind of like myself. I’m often impressed with her openness. This friendship feels as if we’ve been friends before, or something from the pass has us connected on another level. She doesn’t feel like a brand new friend, if that makes any sense. I keep asking myself, were we perhaps friends in another lifetime? How is it that she knows me so well, in such a short amount of time. And since we are both older, there’s no silly games, we both value our time, and we don’t need to be friends with anyone that isn’t a good person, and neither of us want to waste energy on people that don’t deserve it. It’s exhausting to try and force a friendship that just isn’t there. Or maybe it is because we are both older, and we don’t need to try and impress anyone. It’s take me as I am, or let’s say goodbye and move on. No hard feelings, not everyone is meant to be friends. But I do believe that we all cross paths with different people for different reasons.
Some friendships are not real. Some are only one-sided. Those are the type of friendships that I’ve let go of now. My friendships need to be ones that fulfill my internal needs, not just to be there for someone else’s convenience. I’ve had too many destructive types of friendships that hurt both my wallet, and my heart. So now, I’ve learned to be protective of both. When I give my heart to someone, and mostly to someone that I want to call “friend”, that means that I value them. I want to be able to trust them. Be relaxed with them, and sometimes foolish. I don’t want to be judged, and I’ll do the same for them.
Friendships will never be perfect. No relationship is every perfect. I just don’t have the energy to put valuable time into one that is filled with doubts, or red flag warnings. This life is really too short for these types of distractions.
As I’m typing this, my “new” friend just sent me a text. All it said was, “Smile. I’ll smile too.” That, is all I needed to read.