“You’re a victim of your own mind.”
Over thinking drives me nuts. Not only that, but it’s very time consuming too. Yesterday afternoon, something, or someone, if I’m being honest, got to me. Not that they did anything wrong on their part, but it’s because I was expecting them to act differently than how they did, and it bothered me. I let it bother me, because I kept thinking of it, rather than just letting it go, and doing something else. I spent way too much thinking of this situation. I kept imagining what I wanted them to say, how I wanted them to react, and by doing so, I put myself into a dark little funk that lasted most of the evening. It sucked. I, rather, sucked.
We can’t control how someone is going to react to us, and often we have such high expectations for someone else’s reactions, that when things don’t happen the way that we wanted them to, we get let down, but sometimes we are the cause of our own heartbreaks or pain. We try to pass the blame onto someone else, but in fact, it’s us.
So last night, I was having a conversation with someone, and it was going fine, but I was expecting more time from this person. When in fact, everything was going fine. I just was being a needy little weenie, and wanted more attention from this person, but they had other things to do that were more important than paying attention to me. It wasn’t them, it was me, at least, most of it was me. But I should have noticed that they really weren’t in the mood to talk with me, the signs were obvious, but I ignored them, and by doing so, I got my feelings hurt. And being Pisces, that’s a pretty easy thing to do.
Now, I do have a pet-peeve. When someone sends a message to your phone, and you read it, and then reply to it, wouldn’t you then expect that the person on the other end, who sent you the text, to respond fairly quickly, because they were just there? Why send someone a message or a text, if you’re not going to respond to them like within the next few minutes that the text was sent? If someone doesn’t have the time, or energy to start a conversation via email, text, or messaging, then don’t start! I mean, I was reading, and my phone made that cute little noise, letting me know that I just received a message. So I looked, and yes, there was a brief little message from a friend of mine. Well, I put down my book, and sent a reply, but silly me, I expected them to reply just as quickly and politely as I had replied to them. Didn’t happen. Two, three, and then eight minutes went by before I heard back. This was how the entire “conversation” went on for the next half hour. She would send me a message, I would reply right away, and then I had to wait for her reply to come back. This wasn’t the first time either. Sometimes, she’s kept me waiting for over twenty minutes before I’d get a response from her. Sorry, but I don’t “message” or “text” like that.
So then the over thinking starts to take over. I think of all kinds of different scenarios, and all of them are bad. Maybe she doesn’t really want to talk to me, maybe we aren’t the friends that I thought we were, etc. I was creating a problem that really wasn’t there. And for that, I’m the one that suffered, not her! I became my own sad little victim.
I’m trying to learn from my mistakes, and it’s not easy. It’s not going to happen over night, but I’m trying. I’m trying to not expect too much from others, especially people that don’t expect too much from me. I’ve always, always been a giver. I often give too much to the wrong people, but I’m learning to not do that. At least, I catch my mistakes a lot sooner than before! I have to tell myself, don’t think too much, don’t over react too much, and don’t open your heart for the wrong people. It only leads to being hurt.
Just let things be. Don’t try and force anything, even friendships. Over thinking can make things worst than what they are, and maybe things aren’t even bad, but just not up to your own interpretation of how things should be. But, it is possible that someone that you consider to be your friend, really isn’t a friend, so consider that you may have to cut ties with someone that isn’t going to be as good of a friend as you are to them. Or if you decide to keep the friendship, then just know up front that it’s not going to be a die-hard friendship, and that’s okay, as long as you know.
But try not to over think anything, and just let it be. If something is meant to be, it will happen naturally. Not forced.