“Now that I’m older, I have a much better appreciation of nature, and I love being alone.” quote by Gia Coppola
I hardly ever get quality time alone, and I’m someone that needs her alone time. I like being alone, but not lonely. Two very different things. My schedule is constantly on the move, from the moment I wake up around 3am, to just about when I’m going to bed. When I’m ready to turn in, I try and read a little before falling asleep. I love to read. but I don’t get to do that as much as I would like to, but I fit in some books here and there. But, it’s that finding some alone time that can really be very difficult, and sometimes, others just don’t understand it. Well, I value my alone time, it’s very precious to me.
I’ll shut my phone to silent, put away the computers, lock my front door, unless it’s really nice outside, then I’ll let the sunlight peek in and fall on my cats fur. I’ll put some meditation sounds on, light falling rain on a tin roof, or nature sounds with running water. Pick up a book, pour myself a glass of some type of adult beverage, and read. See? That’s not bad, right?
Well, for some people, it is. My mother will say, “Mia, what if I needed you? What if I needed to go to the doctor?” My sister will say, “What if momma needed you? What if I needed to tell you something?” Some of my friends will say, “But I needed to talk to you.” Or the ever unpopular calls or texts from my co-workers, asking me something about work, even though I’m not on the clock, or it’s the weekend, and someone will keep sending texts to me that can wait for Monday, or have nothing to do with me. Sometimes, people will try and make you feel guilt for wanting to have your alone time, but don’t let them! There are some great benefits to being alone with your thoughts.
For me, I can think more clearly about problems that I may be having. Sometimes, when I’ve got a personal problem, and I don’t want to be distracted from other peoples suggestions, it works better for me to think about things in silence. No outside distractions, no other voices. I know that sometimes, people just want to try and help, but when you get the opinions from five different people, that could be five too many to have to think about! And when I’m alone, I’m not “on”, like I have to be when I’m at work, or hanging out with friends. I think because of where I work, and they type of work that I do, my emotions are often drained by the end of my shift, and I just really, really, need to be alone. Sometimes, people just don’t get it. And sometimes, when I tell someone that I’m really not in the mood to talk, it’s not personal, then that person takes it the wrong way, and they later they tell me that I hurt their feelings, when that wasn’t my intentions at all.
I’ve never been good at unloading my problems to others, that’s just me. So when I’m feeling hurt, or upset, or just exhausted from my day, I NEED that time to myself. I’m also no good to anyone else if I don’t get this much needed alone time because then I’m one grouchy little bitch, and who wants to be around her?
Being alone for me, is disconnecting from everything. It’s not a personal thing. It’s from work, from phones ringing, from the everyday demands that come all the time. It’s letting my mind focus on whatever else I need to focus on, to reboot my mental state of mind! Take away the distractions! Please! I used to let people guilt me into spending time with them, or doing things even when all I really wanted was to be at home, but not any more. Time goes by much too fast, and there’s hardly enough hours in the day to do something that you REALLY want to do. Why keep wasting time doing things that you don’t want to?
So, don’t feel guilty about wanting to have your alone time. Don’t let others try (and try they will) to make you feel bad for wanting to be alone. Maybe you only want a few hours, or maybe a whole day, whatever you need, make the time for it. It can be for as long or as short as you need it to be. It’s your time. Remember that. We somehow manage to fit in other things, so why not find time to give yourself some peace of mind? Meditate. Relax. Escape to that special place that only you know about, and you don’t have to share with anyone else if you don’t want to. And if someone doesn’t want to understand, or they want to try and make you feel guilty? I say, that’s their problem, not yours. We all need some time to ourselves. Sometimes, being alone, can be a luxury. It’s a luxury that I allow myself as often as I can, and I don’t need anyone else’s consent either! And neither do you!