How do we determine when it’s “alright” to lie, or hold back the truth from someone? Or, is it ever a good idea to lie?
I’ll give you a few examples:
“My water bill is really high, but it’s okay because I own property, and I just pass my home water bill as if it were the business one. It’s no big deal.”
“I wanted a new car, so I had a friend “steal” my SUV, claimed it with my insurance as stolen, and collected money that I used to get another car.”
“I didn’t feel like working yesterday, so I called out, and told my boss that my grandmother was in the hospital.”
Now, all three examples are what some people told me in the past. I will tell you that I was a little surprised by them, and some more than others. Especially the one about having someone steal her car so that she could get money to get a new car. I mean, who does this? Do people really think that this is okay? And what do I think?
Well, that one about the car, that was too much for me. It came from a “friend”, someone that I hung out with sometimes, and I thought she was a pretty good person. In fact, I still think that she’s a fun person, but she just wasn’t someone that I wanted to be friends with any more. She had her car “stolen” twice in the three years that we were friends. We had met at work, and got along right away. She was often the life of the office, telling dirty jokes, acting foolish. But, the more I got to know her, I discovered more about her personality that I didn’t like. She didn’t mind screwing over anyone if she wanted something. I was having doubts about being her friend, but when she did the thing with the cars, that was it for me. I didn’t want to be associated with her any more.
Everyone one lies every now and then. I’ve lied about not wanting to go into work, so I’ve called out sick. To me, that’s a small lie. But to someone else, it may not be. To some, a lie is a lie, is a lie. But can lying too much affect a friendship? I say it can, and for me, it has. Lying about big things has ending a few friendships in my life, but then, does that make me a hypocrite?
I’ve always felt that I’m a little too judgmental, and I work on this everyday. I try hard to not be upset if someone does something that I myself wouldn’t do, but in a few cases, it’s really hard. I’m far from being perfect. I don’t expect anyone else to be either, but I do want my close friends to be aware of their actions and how they could affect others. There are some behaviors that I can’t just push to the side, such as if I were to find out that a friend of mine were hitting there pets or children. That would totally piss me off! I have a zero tolerance for those two things in anyone. It may be because my father beat us all the time, and the dogs too. So, it has a very deep, deep ache in my heart.
I know we all need to learn to be more forgiving. I pray for that everyday. I admit, it’s not always easy. Have I forgiving my father after all these years for beating me? I have, although my sister said that she never will forgive him. It’s not easy to forgive someone when you’ve been hurt, but I know that it will help us to move forward once we do. But then, there’s that other side of the coin too. If someone murdered my family in cold blood, could I forgive that person for taking them from me? I’m really not sure, I can’t say because it’s never happened to me, God bless. But if it were to happen, what would I feel then? How would I forgive that? I really don’t know.
So when someone tells me something that they’ve done, and they lied about it, and they did it for their own personal gain, do I forgive them? Do I ignore it? In some cases, I do. I admit it, I’ve looked the other way. But there are some situations where I just can’t do that, and then I will decide to end the friendship. It’s sad sometimes, because maybe they were really someone that I liked too.
I guess it goes back to being who you are, and having your own morals, if you have morals. Not every one does, and that’s alright too. We each have to draw our own lines as to what we are willing to accept from other people, and what we cannot. For me, having your car(s) stolen in order to get insurance money, that crossed the line. So although this person was fun to hang around with sometimes, this is not the type of person that I want in my life.
Life isn’t perfect. People are not perfect. But there are sometimes peoples actions that are just wrong, and we don’t have to always accept things as they are, especially if it is very clear that something is morally wrong. Maybe they can live with themselves, but I don’t have to.