“Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness.” – quote by Steve Maraboli
From the title you can tell that I’ve been thinking of things today. Mostly, about myself, about how I react to certain things or situations. I’m constantly thinking of ways that I can improve myself, or my reactions to people, etc. I’m FAR from being the perfect person, but at least I know what I need to work on, and here are a few of them.
- Judgmental. As much as I try not to be, I know that I am, and this is a problem for me. I have gotten better at this, but I still find that I need to work on this from time to time. This is probably my least favorite thing about myself. But, I’m happy to say that it’s gotten much better.
- Being too sensitive. I’ve always been overly sensitive for most of my life, and it always causes troubles for me. I get hurt too easily, and it can be over something as simple as someone telling me that my feet are too wide, or that I’m not smart. When people say things like that, instead of just letting it blow over, I let it get to me, and then I begin to doubt myself. Now, being sensitive is not really a bad thing, and I often wished that some people would be more sensitive, but being overly sensitive isn’t good.
- Being too blunt. While some people are so good at being liar’s, my problem is just the opposite. I tend to be too blunt with people sometimes. Yes, I’m being honest, but I should still try and be more restraint when talking. Some people like it, others, not so much. I want to try and correct this before I become one of those little old lady’s that bitch and complaint about everything, or just speak what’s on my mind!
- Being Too Kind. I think that being kind is good, and that more people should be kinder, but in my case, I’m too nice! It’s true. And it’s not good because I get taking advantage of a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I love my big heart! I really love that I’m a giver and a pleaser, but it’s to the point that I put almost anyone else’s needs way ahead of my own, and that’s not good because there are people that take advantage of it, and then, I’m let down. I have gotten better at this, but I still get taking advantage of, and it really hurts to know that people can do that to someone else.
- Anxiety. I have anxiety. I do take something for it, but from time to time, it does take over me and I have to deal with it as best as I can. Now, this really isn’t something that I have much control over, I know, but I still don’t like this about me. It can prevent me from doing certain things, and because of it, it also effects those around me, and that’s what bothers me too. I never want to be a burden to those that I love. Panic attacks are nothing to joke about, I know.
- My large breast. Yep. I said that, my large breast. I see women getting boob jobs all the time, and here I am, with those type of big boobs, but wishing that I was a 32b! Now, I don’t hate them, we’re friends and all, but if I could wake up tomorrow and have smaller breast, that would make my day!
- Day dreamer. I constantly see the world in a fantasy way, and it’s not good. It prevents me from seeing how certain things really are, and also how people really are. I want to believe that everyone is good, and they aren’t. I want to trust everyone, but you can’t these days. I want to believe that love can conquer all, but sadly, very sadly, it can’t. I believe strongly in love, but even love can break one’s heart. I need to see people and situations as they really are, but it’s not easy for me. I guess I would much rather live in a fantasy.
- Over analyze. I can over analyze just about anything, and this is really not a good thing at all. Not at all. It gets me into trouble, when if I just let things go, everything would probably be alright. But, because I sometimes over think things, I can blow things out of content, causing more problems that then I first started.
Mostly all of these issues I can work on, and I’m trying. I really am trying. I’m better now than say several years ago, but I’m constantly a work in progress.
Knowing what I need to work on is half the battle. And I plan on winning the war!